| mad dog 20 20 |
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| July 19, 2008 at 10:04 AM |
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| #1 |
:crazy og 20 20 Today at 09:14 AM #6
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Our kids have 4 sets of parents-(divorced and yes, we all went thru some dandy years) This is a bit different of a question--They are now grown up and have kids--our grand's. My spouse (their real parent) does not want to be around his ex for any reason, but will go to birthday parties and stuff like that. Our grown children also think we should come to all their "parties" such as 4th of July, bar-b-ques, etc,., that they invite all 4 sets of parents and most of them do come, but mine does not want to at all.
Says he is not spending his holidays with the ex.
So what do you all think? Is he wrong? The kid's think he should get over it and be there. |
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| Pen |
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| July 22, 2008 at 07:35 AM |
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| #2 |
Your spouse needs to suck it up and just go to the most important functions like birthdays, Xmas etc. Attending every function would drive me crazy too, but no one says you have to attend them all. He/She can also host a couple at your house too. Who knows, maybe they feel the same way about her/him and they just won't show up and eventually everyone will stop inviting everyone to every crazy event on the calendar. |
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| Bobby |
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| July 22, 2008 at 11:52 PM |
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| #3 |
I am trying to have a big happy family but its further complicated by the fact that I am on the road for months at a time. My ex and I are both in new relationships both with children. My daughter and my ex's daughter went to pre school together thats where we al met. My ex is jealous of my partner, she is very care free and wonderful with mu daughter, my ex is pissed that she is "Mary Poppins" to the kids. I always thought there would be harmony and that since I am away for months at a time when I am home I want my daughter all the time.
My ex has big issues with this and says she need to see her daughter, not even wording as our daughter. We could be friends and I know we do not hate each other, however she is still angry with me over our breakup. I am supporting my partner now and my ex also has issues with that as now she has to work 40 hours a week.
We share custody 50/50 although the money for child support is 90/10 as I am away alot but not 90%. I do OK $ wise and am very generous to my ex she keeps a bank card and a emergency credit card. I buy many things for my daughter that really the child support should cover and I am not petty.
I know they need to make a family and I am happy about that, I also want to make a family and my daughter is not all that fond of my exs daughter they also live in my exs partners home.
Man its complicated and I just want to make peace. Its getting pretty bad and the kids are upset. My partner often takes our kids during the summer which she is off to be able to spend time with me as I am leaving for 3 months. My ex and her partner enrolled the kids in a YMCA camp that is very un racially balanced place. I grew up around all kind sof kids but this place is in a very unsafe neighborhood. I want my daughter to be at SUMMER CAMP in the mountains and to me the place is scary. I hate IT.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom?
Thanks |
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| Jen |
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| July 24, 2008 at 06:13 PM |
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| #4 |
Bobby, wow, that is a complicated situation. Kind of hard to follow, but that is what being an ex with kids is all about, complications. If it's this hard for me to understand, imagine how your daughter feels. (not busting your butt, but just calling it as I see it) There is nothing more you can do about your arrangement, especially based on the fact you travel so much, so keep in touch w/ your daughter daily if possible and try and stay as much in her life as possible as it relates to what & who she is hanging out with. Your advice, influence, love and "presence" is all you have to give her...it's all she really needs based in this situation!!! |
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