| Karen |
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| April 05, 2008 at 03:43 PM |
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| #1 |
I am finding this is such a difficult matter. How do you have a joint birthday party, which of course is best for the child, and have the ex there when days prior she's threatening you with lawyers and throwing her typical fit about something....I know the canned answer to this...just ignore her and move on...but I know someone must have other advice. If it's not the party it's the "out gift" the dad again this year with some major useless toy or game. |
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| Josie |
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| April 06, 2008 at 08:38 AM |
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| #2 |
We have been through this for years. Our family therapist told us it was more harmful for our daughter to have joint family get togethers with the animosity between the parents and to accept that we should just have separate ones. You can't hide that sort of anger between parents, no matter how hard you try - there will be dirty looks exchanged, heavy sighs, and maybe bitter words. Which is more harmful, putting your children through that one or more times and confusing them, or having two separate events? |
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| Karen |
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| April 06, 2008 at 12:28 PM |
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| #3 |
I thought the same thing, but what do I know??? This experience of being a step mom leaves you feeling so dumb - sometimes you feel since you are not the bio parent you don't know crapola. The "real" parents act like they can handle being great examples in their divorce, but they seem to be the most immature of the whole bunch! |
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| Janice |
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| April 06, 2008 at 08:59 PM |
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| #4 |
You suck it up for the kids sake! Its not your day, your husband's day or the eX's day - its the child's day. If your husband is the one dealing with the eX then try to remember there are 2 sides to every story and you are only going to hear a one sided version of events. If you are dealing with the eX yourself, like I am, and she is a huge, re-occurring problem, then remember that the best revenge will be living a happy life with her eX! |
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| Billy |
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| April 07, 2008 at 01:33 PM |
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| #5 |
Sorry Janice, but you are a bit confused on this matter. There is a reason they are called ex's. A divorce or separation means just that...doing anything 'just for the kids' is just fake when adults won't get along. That's just real life. I've been the kid that had to watch my parents glare,throw digs and 'one up' eachother for years, and I would rather have not been put in that situation...for birthdays, holidays or any other 'special' day. Don't flatter yourself parents or do you just want a reason to see/torture your ex? |
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| Mad Dog 20 20 |
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| July 19, 2008 at 08:14 AM |
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| #6 |
Our kids have 4 sets of parents-(divorced and yes, we all went thru some dandy years) This is a bit different of a question--They are now grown up and have kids--our grand's. My spouse (their real parent) does not want to be around his ex for any reason, but will go to birthday parties and stuff like that. Our grown children also think we should come to all their "parties" such as 4th of July, bar-b-ques, etc,., that they invite all 4 sets of parents and most of them do come, but mine does not want to at all.
Says he is not spending his holidays with the ex.
So what do you all think? Is he wrong? The kid's think he should get over it and be there. |
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