| Lori |
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| April 02, 2008 at 11:01 PM |
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| #1 |
I am dating a divorced Dad with a 7 year old. His ex is always changing when and where they will meet to pick up his son, Cooper. She also tells Cooper about parties or activities so he gets excited and we have to take him there instead of what we planned. My boyfriend never seems to take control of the situation even if I ask him to and I don't feel its my place to interfere. Any ideas how to have some control during his weekends with Cooper? |
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| Lane |
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| April 04, 2008 at 02:47 AM |
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| #2 |
Your boyfriend needs to tell his ex that when it is his weekends with his son, he makes the plans, not her. He needs to stand up to her and be firm. She is controlling him and that is exactly what she wants. If he doesn't stand up to her, she won't stop her controlling behavior. When he does have his son for the weekend, make sure he plans something fun and stick to the plans. His son will look forward to visits with "Dad". |
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| kim |
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| April 04, 2008 at 08:21 AM |
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| #3 |
I agree. once she knows she can manipulate the situation, she will do it over and over again. It is so sad to hear how someone uses their child to manipulate and threaten situations. She is obviously insecure/bitter and in need of a life.
Don't compete with her, moms are still moms, and a child needs one, but she can never replace a Dad's role. Keep it simple. |
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| Yo |
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| April 05, 2008 at 06:38 AM |
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| #4 |
 Dealing with the 'not standing up' issue is difficult. I got caught up in wanting to know why my guy wasn't standing up to his ex, and in the end it really didn't matter. It was really an issue of time, and as I was patient (usually) things began to change. Divorce is a process, and sometimes a long one. If the relationship is worth it, so it taking the time to move through the changes divorce brings. |
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| for lane |
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| April 07, 2008 at 01:09 PM |
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| #5 |
Soooo true Lane...You should have told my boy...OOPs, I mean, ex boyfriend that. Sadly, now he is realizing he wasn't that special - and - that I was. There are plenty of good guys/gals out there - don't give up or tolerate being 2nd or 3rd or whatever. Either your important in someones life or you are not! One doesn't have to choose. |
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| KJ |
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| July 09, 2008 at 07:30 AM |
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| #6 |
I would get so frustrated at my husband because it seemed he let his ex just run all over him. Turns out he was just ignoring her completely and letting her rages/rampages run in one ear and out the other. I am finally learning his strategy is brilliant - LET HER ROAR - JUST IGNORE  |
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| Cynnie |
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| #7 |
I'm amazed how his ex-wife still thinks she is married to my husband. She treats him like show owns him just because he had a child with her. Funny thing is we have been married longer than they were but she acts like she is the Queen Bee. She expects him to do whatever she wants, when she wants...and typically he does it. Strange. It's like he's afraid of her. I wonder if or when it will ever change. I've considered divorcing him and maybe I'd get more out of him....just kidding. |
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